Today I Met a Miracle

He is 6 weeks old. He is absolutely beautiful, he is happy, he has the cutest smile ever, and his parents spent 8 years working to get him.

I don’t know all of the ins and outs of their infertility, but I know they have been trhough everything. Clomid, IUI, FET, and IVF, they have done it all and multiple cycles of each. The stories they have to tell of their treatments could scare people out of ever doing any of them. She literally came close to losing her life multiple times. They once had to get an emergency flight home from Puerto Rico because she had a cyst ”blow up” (her words) in her uterus while on a cycle of Clomid. They have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to become parents. And they love their little boy more than life itself!

They had come to their last straw, emotionally and financially they were done. They were in some kind of shared risk program, and had done 3 IVF cycles, all negative. Because of the shared risk program they had one more chance. If it hadn’t been for that program they would have been done. But, they got one more chance to get their dream come true, and then it would be over. They couldn’t try anymore. I don’t if they were going to move to adoption or live child free, it’s very possible they didn’t know either. All they knew was that they had one last shot at having a biological child. And, to the amazement of everyone involved with them and their journey, it worked.

Their little guy is their miracle. It happens. Not always, not perfectly, but it happens. And every single time it does it’s a miracle. At least as far as I am concerned it is.

I also work with a girl who is a miracle. Her parents struggled to become parents. They had adopted once, become pregnant once, and years later they were asked if they wanted to try a fairly new fertility drug called Clomid. She and her twin sister were born at 20 weeks via c-section. She weighed 2 lbs, her sister 1. She is a healthy vibrant 20 something year old now, with no signs of how her life began, the fight her and her parents had to put up to get her here, and keep her here. Her sister lived to be 19. She had lung problems her whole life, but lived a wonderful life, and didn’t let anything stop her. She died from a lung infection, which she had had before, but of whatever reason she didn't get over it that last time. But, these two girls are miracles, from their conception, though their days in the NICU, and even now, they are miracles.

I love reading the blogs of other infertile girls that are in the midst of getting their miracles. I love that as I sit here my baby girl is having her own little “dance party” inside of me. I love that I get to see her again on Friday. I love knowing that miracles are still possible. That they still happen, it’s an incredible reminder that our Heavenly Father really is there. We hear about them all the time at church, and when we read the scriptures. But they still happen today, they are all around us. Some of them are easy to spot, others you don’t know about until someone tells you. They are all around us, and they bring me hope. Hope that everyone will someday get their miracle, in whatever form it comes.

The Name Game

So… did you know that when you finally accomplish getting pregnant you have to come with something to call said child?! It’s a very stressful situation!

I also wanted to make sure that her name was something special. After years of trying, I wanted her to have a name that reflected how much we loved her, how much we have hoped and dreamed and prayed for her. I wanted something that wasn’t super common, but that wouldn’t be so unique she spent her whole life correcting people. All this has only added to the stress of trying to find that perfect name.

Some people already have names picked out. My cousin picked out the names of her children when she was 12! I have always had some names that I liked, but over the years they have been stolen by the “I missed a pill” crowd. So, my list was slowly beat down to next to nothing. For a while I thought I had one that I really liked. But I have a mental block about having an official name for my baby until she gets here, and I see her, and I meet her and get to know her. So, I have been on the hunt for a few other names that I really like. I have found a few and then there are those that did get left on my list. So, here’s what we have so far (please feel free to add your suggestions!):

Brinnley, Adalynn, Payton, Hailey

We have decided on a middle name. My family has a tradition of having a middle name that is a “family” name, either you are named after someone, or names have been passed down. My middle name is Nicole, and my sisters is Reneé because they are French, and that is where my mom’s, dad’s, mom’s (did you follow that… it’s great grandma) family came from. So her middle is going to be Janee (Janae). It’s the combination of my sister’s middle name, and my mom’s middle name, which is Jae. I thought it was very fitting, and I loved it as her middle name.

While on this hunt for the perfect first name I came across her middle her, and its meaning. I literally had to hold back tears while sitting at work (yes, I get paid to find a name for my baby!) and I read the meaning.

Janee means “God has answered”.

How incredible is that?! I don’t think that I need to explain how prefect that is for her. She is my miracle. Every child I am blessed with, no matter how they come to me, will be a miracle, she is just my first. She is my dream come true, she is the child that will make me mother, the only thing I ever wanted to be. She is answer to years of prayers. So not only does her name honor two very special people in my life, and hers. It lets her know how special she will always be to me.