After a 37 day cycle I started again on the 15th. I was surprisingly upset. I didn't think that I would be, I didn't actually think that I would get pregnant right away, I don't think that I can get pregnant "naturally" but as the days went by I got more and more hopeful. After day 28 I thought "Ok fine... the only time I ever had anything close to a 28 day cycle was when I took clomid last year." When day 35 came and went I thought "Humm... maybe I could be... usually 35 days is my max." I almost went to the store to get a test on day 36, but when I woke up Monday there is was. I didn't cry or anything like that, I wasn't a wreak like I have been before. But that small part of me that was holding out hope that maybe I could turn into one of those crazy fertile people who becomes a reality show took a hit to the gut that morning.
The new thing I experienced that morning was how immediately I had to move on from it. As soon I flushed that toilet Miss K was up, and I could no longer worry about what might have been, I had to move right on to what is. And I was reminded again how blessed I am to finally be a mom, but at the same time how much I long to give K siblings. So here we go again. I will again try not to get my hopes up, we will see how my cycle goes this month, and I plan to head back to my doctor late September.